STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING. I know, I say that a lot – certainly more than I should to readers who could literally be anywhere in the world and doing anything at the times I end up addressing them. It’s justified this time though, I swear.

You see, Xbox has just announced the latest batch of Game Pass arrivals – the titles which’ll be hitting the service during September – and they’re almost all aimed at the particular genre of boring wanker I am, and that you may well be too.

September’s list of Game Pass arrivals includes no less than three games all aimed at us wetwipes, in the form of Star Trucker, Expeditions: A MudRunner Game, and Train Sim World 5. Can you hear that? It’s the sound of a thousand lads called Keith who could yak about a five-speed transmission for hours and have their day made whenever they go on a rail journey violently orgasming. Now, cover your ears and give them some privacy.

We already knew funky space hauling sim Star Trucker was arriving on cloud, console, and PC Game Pass right as it releases today, September 3, thanks to last month’s list of Game Pass additions, but you should still be excited. I enjoyed its Steam demo earlier this year, when I wasn’t accidentally crashing my lorry/ship into space stations.

Expeditions: A MudRunner Game is a thing I reviewed when it came out back in February, which feels like it was about nine million years ago. I though it was a pretty solid time, and you can that tell because I spent far too much of the review talking about having spent ages trying to drag a big Russian lorry back to my camp, only for it to keep falling off a cliff into a river. It’s coming to cloud, console, and PC on September 5.

Train Sim World 5‘s the final member of the trio and I once tried one of its predecessors for about an hour, and can confirm those games are about driving a train about by pressing all thr right knobs and switches to stop at stations and not crash in a manner that might kill an assortment commuters and day trippers who’ve likely paid far too much for their tickets. It’s coming to cloud, console, and PC on September 17, which is when it releases.

Strategy game Age of Mythology: Retold – coming to cloud, PC, and Xbox Series X/S on September 4 – and multiplayer extreme sportsy thing Riders Republic – cloud, console, and PC) on September 11 – fill out the additions list. Oh, and here’s the list of games leaving the service on September 15: Ashes of Singularity: Escalation (PC) FIFA 23 (cloud, console, and PC), Payday 3 (cloud, console, and PC), Slime Rancher 2 (cloud, console, and PC), SpiderHeck (cloud, console, and PC), You Suck At Parking (cloud, console, and PC).

There you go. Bon voyage, boring prats who’ve got Game Pass.