Have you got a tenner I can borrow? Look, I know you don’t do loans, but I swear I’ll pay you back.

Why do I need it? Do you really have to ask? Ok, I’ll come clean. There’s a copy of Concord for sale on eBay for £10,000, and I didn’t buy it before it was pulled from sale as part of it being shut down as of September 6, so scalpers are my only option now.

No, this PS5 copy (thanks, TheGamer), which is listed as being for sale to the first person to pony up £10,000/just over $13,000 or make what the seller deems to be the best offer, isn’t the only one being hawked by scalpers, but it does look to be by far the most expensive. Come on now, the listing’s titled “Concord Ps5 Video Game Rare Pulled From Shops …. LOL!” with a poop emoji on the end there, so you know it’s worth it.

Seriously, they’ve even offered you the chance to pay for it in instalments of £471.65/$620.55 per month over the course of 24 months – that’s two years of your life – if you can’t afford the full £10K in one go.

Yes, there are some copies on there being sold for much more reasonable prices, such as one for £137.47/$180.73 that looks like it’s the current high watermark among those that have actually been bought, excluding one that just has an exorbitant postage price. Yes, that’s a fair whack more than Concord’s prior retail price of £34.99/$39.99 for the regular edition and £49.99/$59.99 for the digital deluxe.

Yes, it looks like at least one copy has sold for £1 over the past 24 hours. And yes, because it’s designed to be a near wholly multiplayer thing, when the game gets shut down on September 6, all of these copies are effectively going to be reduced to being nothing but useless plastic memorabilia, unless it gets brought back to market further down the line.

But I NEEEEEEDDDD it.

Seriously though, it goes without saying, but you probably shouldn’t buy any of these.

This isn’t the only weird thing that’s happened to PlayStation’s ill-fated hero shooter since its shutdown was announced, with some players having taken to killing their chracter as quickly as possible at the start of matches, in order to try and earn the game’s platinum trophy before it shuts down.